The Unbearable Stupidity of Man (Part Two)

And these 6... Only.

• That awkward moment when one person holds a cup of coffee tryin’ to figure out the shapes that the coffee residue printed on the inside, while you sit there wondering… WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH HER HEAD?!!! And that even more awkward moment when you’re on your way of recovering from that great shock of human’s stupidity, and then you’re struck by 6 other heads staring at that person holding the cup waiting for her to utter the most crucial events of their future, uncovering the mysteries of life, revealing the secrecies that their destinies behold! You know, at times of weakness and despair, I would actually fantasize about god, wondering if he’s ever there… It never occurred to me, he’d be a cup of coffee!
• Horoscope: Now this is something! The good thing is; some people actually make a living out of it! They take advantage of the public’s stupidity! This brings happiness to my heart and tears of joy to my face! Bad thing is; there’s A LOT of people believing it! This scares the shit out of me! I mean “The Moon aspects Jupiter” so you can anticipate that your efforts bring immediate rewards” And “Planet Saturn” made a half spin and unexpectedly crashed into “Mars” so you might as well be careful and try to reduce the percentage of stupidity you have at least for these couple of years! They’re too much and it could hopefully kill you!
• Those stupid things that people say every time anyone does anything at all! Like every time a person coughs, “Bless you!” and the person saying it just stares at you after that! Actually waiting for you to “thank him”. Seriously?! If you ask: “How are you?” the last word that person says after his reply is always “Thank you!” I mean really?! What? It’s kind of a favor now asking people how they’re doin’?! What the hell are you thanking me for you idiot?! Or supposedly you finally bought that awesome car you wanted to get! Those people, when they know about it they “congratulate” you! They actually do! I mean, what the hell are they congratulating you for?! You bought that freaking car with your own money! Money that you worked your butt off for! It’s not like you found it! Congratulate you, those morons! Funny thing is; story goes on with every phone, every shoe, every necklace, every piece of cloth, and every dildo you buy! True story!
• Those moments when you talk to people, usually old, and they keep asking you questions about people they don’t know, and sometimes, don’t exist; how’s your dad? He good? Your mom, how about her? She’s good? How about your sister? She’s done with college? Oh, and your brother?! He makin’ a fuss? And then you stand there nodding at every question and squeezing a smile wondering when the hell are they just gonna shut the hell up! And then you realize, oh wait! But I don’t even have a brother! And my sister graduated fourteen years ago! Her children also graduated! And one of them is expecting a child! And, WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT?!!! And then your grandmother comes to the room, turns out that old bitch is a friend of your grandmothers’!
• The shoes and the god story: Did you know that some people actually think that you shouldn’t keep your shoes upside down. Like if a shoe was kept on the floor and you saw it placed upside down with its sole to the ceiling, you should turn it around… Now “why” is the story! Mesmerizing as it is, those people think that the act of leaving a shoe upside down is disrespectful… TO GOD!!! Yes, they actually think that the all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-wise god would actually feel offended by a shoe on earth that is facing him! And in his all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-wise position, he needs you to always keep an eye on your shoes so as not to hurt his all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-wise pride!
• Magic: if you have a really low IQ, you can find no job, you are such a lousy driver that every time you drive you have an accident, and all the “bad” things happen to you, certain people found the reason after extensive research and studies! Somebody really hates you, he got a series of chemical solutions, got them all together, and made a certain chemical mixture, he then inserted a coin inside of it and read magic over it as it boils, and one night with no moon, in the darkness, as you were looking the other way, he slipped the coin inside your pocket without you noticing. THAT’S WHY!

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The Unbearable Stupidity of Man

Surprisingly as it may seem, I stand speechless to introduce this subject. Words don’t seem to be enough to serve my purpose this time; the purpose of describing how mindless, stupid and silly people can actually be. Not all people this time, only the ones who have insanely imprudent ideas like the ones stated below.

Important Note: There’s A LOT more! But I want to waste my time on these 6 only.

• If you open an umbrella inside a house, someone will die. It’s bad luck, especially if the umbrella is a black one! You know, the person might die… “More”!
• If you talk about something, it might actually happen! So don’t talk about cancer, don’t say the word “cancer”. It might just have to answer, and you will end up in CHEMO!
• People don’t talk badly about dead people. They barely bring them up. However, when a person is alive, wow! They get in groups, gather at restaurants, or meet at each other’s places just to talk about this person! Over a cup of coffee occasionally. When you’re alive, you’re bad! When you’re dead, “Well, he was a good man!” People actually respect the dead but not those alive!! They get into people’s business but not after they die! Seriously?! Well I’m sorry to break the news for you like that people but zombies give less than a shit whether you respect them or not!! You talking, or not talking about them doesn’t really change anything in that zombie world they’re in!
• Which reminds me, some people actually believe that when someone they love or care about dies, they will see him/her again, “On the other side” That’s spooky. Oh! And FUCKING STUPID!!!
• Here’s another cute thought; if you disobeyed your parents concerning marriage, you won’t be happily married, you know? Because the sequence of events that happen when you’re married, has your parents’ consent as a pit stop. Every event stops there to check. It either “converges” to a good path or “diverges” to a bad one in accordance to the level of consent your parents have for you and your marriage. I mean yeah, it makes perfect sense!
• “The Evil Eye” Now this is the REALLY GOOD PART! Some people think that there is something called “The Evil Eye”. That other people -and it’s always other people by the way- when jealous, they can actually hurt the person they’re jealous from by simply “LOOKING”. For those people, the “act of looking” can cause a series of unfortunate events such as: Severe Headaches, Tripping, Accidents, Bad luck, Body-Parts-truncation, Volcanoes, collapsed buildings, earthquakes, and many more. Apparently, there are a lot of these extremely dangerous people surrounding us and the only way to fight them is by… Wait for it… Reading holy verses from the holy book. Do you think what I’m thinking? HOLY SHIT!!!

Cordially, Bayan Assaf

You know, I feel pity for those who think they know it all. They get all arrogant and conceited like they've re-invented the wheel. They get all consumed with their illusions that feed their pride. Those people, who after learning so little think they've understood it all. They get eaten up by all their illusions and start comparing themselves with great minds like Plato's or Nietzsche’s. Maybe you do have things in common, maybe you did come up with a couple of similar theories, maybe this is a big deal. However, it definitely does NOT mean that you are such a great philosopher or, Mr\Miss know-it-all. Readers, don’t be too surprised, these people actually exist! An important note about philosophers; they are very wise people, not too old, but old enough to bear the wrinkles on their faces and the harshness on their hands and the sadness in their eyes and the humbleness within their minds.

Socrates once said, "The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing" and you, a tiny young creature who have barely seen the world, you actually think you are up there with all those great philosophers, while the rest of us are down here living blindly with very limited knowledge? And you actually think that you have all the knowledge you need, like you dance with greater people's ghosts. How pathetic could that be? How funny really and sad that bubble you live in. Wake up my friends... Wake up from that dream. I know it's satisfying and I know it's hard to let go of that place, but it's time you understand; it's merely a beautiful weave of your imagination coming from that tiny little brain of yours.

The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing -- Socrates

Dedicated to a Dear friend

Delusional, but dear

Black & Pitty

It never really made sense to me the whole idea of funerals. People die and their families feel obliged to wear black and put on no makeup and “mourn” for a specific number of days. The latter, of course, means that they can’t listen to music, can’t go to parties, can’t attend weddings, etc… I mean what is it really about this whole ritual or culture or whatever you people call it! Such a waste of time, such an imprudent act soaked with ridicule and deceit! When did death become a tall black veil worn with heads held high and shoulders shrugged, like it’s something to be proud of; like the pain we have, or the loss we endure should be a crown placed on our heads so that everyone can look, everyone can see and maybe, let a little pitiful tear slide down their cheeks for us. When did death and the pain of losing someone ever become a show off; or a way to take people’s sympathy like beggars, a way to rob people’s pity! And when, in earth’s name, did pity become such a beautiful view to see in other people’s eyes while they look at us!

What is the use of gathering around a dead body? The body of a person dear to us, but a person not there anymore, a person who doesn’t exist anymore! What’s the use of gathering in one place, while half of those attending are there merely because they feel obliged, and the other half are there only to feel worse! Some of you would say, we gather to support each other, to hold each other’s hand through the immense rage and melancholy that death causes. But isn’t there a more effective way to be there, a more effective way to help and support? For instance, isn’t there a better way to make someone who lost someone dear feel better other than showing up in a “funeral” for 10 min, crack a tear or two after few lousy attempts and then go to your 10pm party at the cozy little pub in the city?! Isn’t there any other way to show your care other than shaking hands with someone too close to collapsing and offering your “consolation”? How about you pay the rent of that apartment those people live in, now that the person supposed to do the paying is dead?! Or donate your heart so that you could have saved that person’s life and prevented this family from all this suffering they are in. If you care so much, why don’t you do something about it instead of standing worthlessly with that stupid black dress shedding useless tears and creating more stress and strain?

Now, since we all agree that nobody really cares enough, no one’s ready to sacrifice their lives or donate any of their organs or give away some of their money for the sake of anyone else, why don’t we cut all this crap and just stop showing useless, dishonest sympathy and mendacious tears and stay home when somebody dies! Just let the poor guy rest in peace and leave the family to their grief! Funerals are purposeless, they benefit no one at all, and they make no difference; except of course, making it a little harder on the dead person’s family and the people attending the event wondering why the hell did that person have to die at Christmas Eve, or the day that football game starts.

Not every person who once glimpsed at the dead guy while he lived has to go see his family after his death. Not every person in the family has to offer consolation. And no one at all has to be present anywhere near the dead person’s family if he doesn’t really feel the pain of the loss. And, most importantly, no one has to be present at all, if that person can’t offer real help willingly, and from his whole heart!

Matter of Fact

No one really explains to you what life is when you’re a kid. No one tells you about how hard it is going to be or how cruel and unfair. No one talks about mischief and pain, the loneliness and fear… They all talk about the right and wrong, the good and bad, the respect and disrespect. They are all busy preaching and lecturing about idealism and perfection and virtues while they are full of mistakes and faults. They have all been bad, all done wrong, lied and denied, all hurt and mislead! The smell of guilt shimmers on their skins and the scenes of failure sparkle in their eyes! They judge and urge while their breaths stink with flaw! They point and blame right after they survived the same fall.

It’s funny, really, how they claim on control, how they dwell on giving advice, how they demand to be heard and not disobeyed, trusted and unquestioned. How does this system work exactly, and how on earth is it still going, when the people teaching are those who lived their lives wrongly, and the people preaching are those who were lost the most! We are all children of the world, the old and the young. Lessons here are unlimited and very random. They have no specific time and no specific place. They happen in an instant due to a number of consecutive happenstances with random people of different age. What life taught you is completely different than what it taught your neighbor. It is also different than what it taught your wife, and it’s different than what it teaches your child or what it will teach your future children. People have different perspectives because life teaches on different angles. Just like you learned, they will learn. No one has the right to think that they learned the most, or they know what’s best. We are all children of life, and we are all ignorant of its most important lessons, you might as well not dwell too much on the idea that you know what’s best, because the fact of the matter is… YOU DO NOT!

The Mind

It doesn't really matter where you go, how you start, or where you end. It doesn't matter how many times you fall, or how you rise, or what you fake. It doesn't matter whether you understand or you're being understood. It doesn't matter if you grasp all what's around or ignore what is clear, whether you show what you must, or hide what you fear. It doesn't matter if you're a coward or you are brave, if you're a sinner or a saint, right or wrong, guilty or innocent, stupid or smart... For in every person's mind, he is right! He's all knowing and all wise, all powerful and great! Every person lives in this bright comfy nutshell, where everything he does is brilliant and all his thoughts are genius, all his mistakes are excused and everyone else is to blame. Our mind works in ways that can't be predicted. It creates this shield that protects us mainly from ourselves, and then, from others. it makes believe what suits us and ignore all the rest. The mind... This is just a glimpse of mine! And how could a person criticize and put his own kind to the test, when he himself is merely a sample...

Important is Nothing!

Nothing you do in life is important!

Nothing you say means anything.

Nothing you achieve will last forever.

Everything you have will be lost

And you can never make purpose of the absurdity of this life.

But it is very important that you do it all!

It's very important that you say all what's on your mind,

Achieve all what you can,

Have all what you want,

And most importantly... Enjoy your existence!